Stop Caring What Others Think

This report includes seven powerful tips related to stop caring what others think. It also includes three action steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information.

SEVEN TOP TIPS

Live life on your terms. There will always be people who have opinions about what you should be doing or how you should be living. Frankly, it is none of their business!

Confident Business Woman

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They don’t live in your skin day-in and day-out. They don’t have to live with the consequences of your decisions. So, for the most part, why should you care what others think?

1. There are times when caring what people think is important

This is critical when your decisions affect others as well as you. It is not wise – or even ethical to make those decisions without at least discussing the impact it will have on everyone concerned.

It is wonderful to have the freedom to make your own decisions. BUT… always be sensitive to others when they are involved and will have to deal with with the consequences of a decision you are making.

2. When a decision involves only you and it is yours to make, stand firm when others try to interject their opinions into the process.

You can graciously accept and even listen (if you choose) to what others have to say. Be as polite as possible. Being rude is never a good option. Simply state clearly that you are comfortable making the decision on your own and ask them to respect that. If they are insistent on giving you unsolicited advice, ask them how they would feel if you started butting into their lives.

3. Do your homework, research thoroughly, and have your facts straight.

You want to have as much information possible when making decisions – especially major decisions. When you are prepared, you will have the upper hand. This is particularly helpful when someone challenges your decision. You can present your case if you choose to do so.

4. Know when to respond and when to ignore situations.

People say things all the time that may annoy you in one way or another. It is important to be able to quickly recognize when to respond (thoughtfully) and when to ignore what was said.If an annoying remark is made, but there are no potential consequences from that remark (other than being getting annoyed by it), the wise choice is usually to ignore it.

On the other hand, if someone makes a statement that can at some point become an issue if it is not addressed, action is required. (Please, notice that I said “action” not “reaction.”)

For example: a colleague states that you aren’t doing your job even when you know you are.

You have the right and responsibility to defend yourself, but not necessarily in the heat of the moment. Take a minute or two to breathe (longer, if necessary) and think through your response. Then, calmly tell the offending colleague exactly why he is so far off base with his comment. Don’t wait and let the situation blow out of proportion or let the statement become a rumor that blows up in your face. Calmly standing up for yourself is important in such situations.

5. Everything is not personal – even though it may feel that way.

This can be a difficult one for many people to learn. A wise first step when something has been said that upsets you, is to take a step back and think about the words that were spoken.

Was it truly a personal attack? On the surface, it may feel personal, but when you consider the words carefully and their perspective, you may find that they have a point. When you take a minute or two to assess the situation, you can calmly choose how you are going to respond – rather than a knee-jerk reaction based strictly on emotion.

Keep in mind that when you always take comments from others personally, you are giving the speakers more power over you than they should ever be allowed to have. You are allowing them to question what you feel and believe, rather than relying on what you know to be true about yourself.

Trust yourself. Listen to what is being said, evaluate it for merit and choose a healthy response.

6.  Choose your battles.

This is probably not new advice. Life if filled with challenges and potentially annoying situations. If you get upset at everything someone says or does something you do not like, you are spinning your wheels and wasting your energy. It also diminishes your energy and power to deal with bigger issues when they arise.

Learn to let the little stuff wash over you without response. Save your focus and energy for the big battles that are worth fighting – the ones with outcomes that can make a difference to you or someone you care about.

7. No one is always right. Everyone makes mistakes – including you!

It is interesting that when an individual is right, s/he may brush it off as nothing and portray a non-caring attitude, which can be very effective because it is interpreted as humility.

However, when a mistake is made, nonchalance and an uncaring attitude can be offensive to others and get you into trouble. It is much better to openly admit you are wrong and take responsibility for your mistake.

Admitting you made a mistake and apologizing is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it is a sign of moral courage and garners high respect in the business world and builds strong relationships in all aspects of life.

The best path when you make a mistake is:  own it, correct the damage if possible, learn from it, and apologize to anyone who was hurt by it. There is a lot of power in taking such action.

ACTION STEPS

Step One

Learn to meditate and use it daily

  • To stop caring what others think, you must be able to calm your mind. Otherwise, it is too easy for other people’s comments to make you angry.
  • Meditation is a great way to help you control angry feelings when they arise.

Step Two

Learn to “act” rather than “react”

  • A knee-jerk reaction is never a good choice. It usually adds fuel to the fire in any situation.
  • When something is said that you cannot ignore, take a deep breath, consider the comment and the speaker’s perspective and carefully choose your response.
  • If no resolution or agreement is possible, you may have to accept as it is; and walk away.

Step Three

Learn from your experiences

  • If you tend to take everything personally, practice self-reflection.
  • Each time you feel someone has attacked you personally, take time to reflect on the situation with an open mind.
  • Walk through the experience step-by-step and determine if you overreacted – at all, a little, or a lot?  What could you have done differently? What can you learn from this experience?

ADDITIONAL READING

The Art of Everyday Assertiveness: https://amzn.to/2qLY55C

Not Nice – Stop People Pleasing: https://amzn.to/2K2oFAj

The Power of Not Caring: https://amzn.to/2qSrGKT

You Are a Badass: https://amzn.to/2qSqN51

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